C. fell in church this morning and hit her head on the corner of a pew. Nice dark bruise right down the center of her forehead - right between the eyes, poor thing. She has 4 teeth now - still coming in some but visible - and now this. She will live, and so will I, I think.....The whole thing got me thinking about parenting. C. would not have fallen and hurt herself if I had been holding her - but she was in an active mood and wanted to get down and move some. So I let her. I don't let her crawl all over the sanctuary, but I think it's okay for her to get down on the floor and move around a bit. So we were singing a hymn and she crawled over and pulled up on the end of the pew where I was sitting. I looked at her and smiled, she smiled at me and turned to go back to crawling around - and didn't take into account the pew in front of us, which she went straight into when she went to start crawling. I'm trying not to feel too guilty - it's that dance though. That back and forth between not holding your kid back, not clinging, and at the same time keeping enough boundaries, enough limits to keep them safe. C. has been through such a separation anxiety phase recently that I am even happier to see her crawling around and happy - she feels comfortable at church to the point she can leave me and come right back and be fine. This is good - I don't want to discourage it. But, when you let your kid crawl (or walk or drive) away, you risk them getting hurt - and as a mom, there's nothing worse than a hurt kid (okay, maybe a sick kid who just puked on you, but that's another post...) I think I am making this into a bigger deal than it needs to be, so I will move on now....Parenting - with awareness anyway - is harder than it looks....
It has been raining a lot this weekend. Real rain - not Utah rain (where it spits for 3 minutes and is gone). It's raining now. It rained almost all day yesterday. Living in the desert, we don't get much rain, and I miss it.
I got to celebrate communion at the presbytery-wide PW fall gathering yesterday. It's the first time I remember celebrating communion in a group of all women. I have many experiences of worshipping in a community of women - but I am not remembering any since ordination that I celebrated communion for. It is a powerful experience - one I am grateful for. I felt the service I put together was a bit disjointed, but all the women who talked to me after the service said how wonderful it was, so I am taking that affirmation and moving forward.
And it's now almost 11:15 and I need to go start laundry....so I will close for now.
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3 comments:
well i suppose she needs to start now, learning how to be independent i mean, so hope the bumps don't give her more separation anxiety!
i'm sure that parenting is just about the most difficult job in the world.
i'm also sure that kids get hurt again and again and again... whether their parents are trying to protect them or not.
i'm also sure that is an IMMENSELY painful reality for parents.
i think it's wonderful that you're letting your kid explore and move (and be a kid) when she's comfortable enough to do so.
i'm sorry c got hurt.
i hope you can be released from guilt.
is there any chance that c will be more careful in her crawling thanks to this experience or is that not developmentally possible yet?
and as for the communion service- i'm so glad you had that experience.
were you at that retreat in the house in the country for sisters- do you remember that communion service? one very powerful moment in my faith journey.
I have some friends from New Zealand and when I was first around their kids, I realized I was constantly saying "be careful." Their kids have had a fair number of classic kid bruising, but I think that they are also very active and relatively unafraid of the world. I am going to try as hard as I can to repress my cautioning instinct with our kid/s. I also have noticed that their kids are very happy being lifted, hoisted, swung, etc. Knowing my family, the greater danger is almost certainly being sedentary. Not sure if this relates directly--just thinking out loud.
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