Sick kiddo

M. is sick, poor thing. She was very tired and listless at presbytery (and yes, she would rather go with us to presbytery and play in the nursery at the church than stay home with someone else....she's a weird one, my kid.) and so we left early. Then she threw up in the car. I felt so bad for her - it was cold out and we stopped to change her and clean up her carseat as best we could (thank God for washable carseat covers, by the way. Hers is in the dryer right now) and she got so cold from the wind going in and out....Having a sick kid just breaks my heart. She slept most of the rest of the way home (it was almost a 3 hour drive and she threw up about an hour into it) and then seemed much perkier and more like her usual, talkative, ornery self. But then after her bath tonight, as I was helping her into her pajamas, her stomach hurt again and she started crying because she didn't want to throw up again. Which she didn't, thank goodness, but I still feel so bad for her. I'm hoping it's just exhaustion or a 24 hour bug.....and that C. doesn't get it. (which would be a small miracle, but I can dream, right?)
Of course, this would have to happen on the first Saturday in 6 weeks or so that I am preaching the next day. So, we have called in reinforcements in the form of one of the girls "adopted grandparents" to sit with her while Mommy and Daddy both preach in the morning. I should mention that M. has a wonderful track record for getting sick on Saturdays - (or during or right before Holy Week) - this is seriously one reason I wanted us to move to only one of us being in parish ministry at this time - having to get someone else to stay with a sick kid so you can work is just not fun.
I also wanted to thank everyone who commented about C's fall. She has had just the faintest bruise on her forehead this week - most people don't see it unless I point it out. I think it is just her personality - she is ready to just go, go, go - and has been forever. She was much more active in utero than M. - and I remember clearly setting her up on her boppy when she was all of a month old, so she could watch us move around the room, and she would strain her stomach muscles trying to sit up. She just wants to go and do and be active - and she will probably have a few good bumps along the way. But, this is who she is. I want to keep her safe, don't get me wrong, but I also don't want to stop her from exploring, from being who she is. M. was and is much more contemplative - she wants to consider and understand before she does something, especially anything physical. Not C. - this one will try and fall and try and bump and try again. I think she will turn out more like W. - very athletic and such - not like her mom. So, it's tightrope walking of a sort - keep her safe but let her go explore - and not feel too guilty about the bumps and bruises that come. She will learn (eventually!). Parenting really does teach you so much - about yourself, about your partner, about your family - it's quite a ride.
Well, I must go look over my sermon for tomorrow. I would post it, but haven't written a manuscript for this one and my notes probably don't make much sense to anyone but me. So, until next time...

The white stuff is here.....

The second picture you can see it better. This is the grass in our backyard today. After we got home from a judicatory meeting in Preston, Idaho. It is still September, right? And we have snow. Not much, admittedly. We had 8 inches at a shot several times last winter, but.....snow....in September......

I have more to post in response to my last post and your comments, but C. is about to pull her sister's dinner onto the floor, so I must go...

Bumps, brusies, rattles and rolls

C. fell in church this morning and hit her head on the corner of a pew. Nice dark bruise right down the center of her forehead - right between the eyes, poor thing. She has 4 teeth now - still coming in some but visible - and now this. She will live, and so will I, I think.....The whole thing got me thinking about parenting. C. would not have fallen and hurt herself if I had been holding her - but she was in an active mood and wanted to get down and move some. So I let her. I don't let her crawl all over the sanctuary, but I think it's okay for her to get down on the floor and move around a bit. So we were singing a hymn and she crawled over and pulled up on the end of the pew where I was sitting. I looked at her and smiled, she smiled at me and turned to go back to crawling around - and didn't take into account the pew in front of us, which she went straight into when she went to start crawling. I'm trying not to feel too guilty - it's that dance though. That back and forth between not holding your kid back, not clinging, and at the same time keeping enough boundaries, enough limits to keep them safe. C. has been through such a separation anxiety phase recently that I am even happier to see her crawling around and happy - she feels comfortable at church to the point she can leave me and come right back and be fine. This is good - I don't want to discourage it. But, when you let your kid crawl (or walk or drive) away, you risk them getting hurt - and as a mom, there's nothing worse than a hurt kid (okay, maybe a sick kid who just puked on you, but that's another post...) I think I am making this into a bigger deal than it needs to be, so I will move on now....Parenting - with awareness anyway - is harder than it looks....
It has been raining a lot this weekend. Real rain - not Utah rain (where it spits for 3 minutes and is gone). It's raining now. It rained almost all day yesterday. Living in the desert, we don't get much rain, and I miss it.
I got to celebrate communion at the presbytery-wide PW fall gathering yesterday. It's the first time I remember celebrating communion in a group of all women. I have many experiences of worshipping in a community of women - but I am not remembering any since ordination that I celebrated communion for. It is a powerful experience - one I am grateful for. I felt the service I put together was a bit disjointed, but all the women who talked to me after the service said how wonderful it was, so I am taking that affirmation and moving forward.
And it's now almost 11:15 and I need to go start laundry....so I will close for now.

Early Discernment

So, in the last few weeks the head of the judicatory here has resigned to go elsewhere. So there is a meeting next Saturday where we will be asked to approve a job description for a "transitional presbyter" - this is not the hard part for me. The job description is actually very well written, clear, and I think helpful in moving us forward as a gathering of churches - the biggest assignment being to meet with all pastors and church governing boards to gather information and cast a vision for future structure and mission in our judicatory. This position is clearly defined as having a 12 month term.
So - where the discernment? No where yet, really. But I am wondering about the permanent position that will follow this transitional one. When we came here, it was with the knowledge that I might not work for some time - not in the regular called sense of it anyway. I prepared myself to be a mom, to preach on occasion, and I am happy with that. For now. But, now I am starting to wonder - am I called to leadership outside the congregational level? Could I be an executive and be content? Is this what God has planned for me to do? In many ways it would make sense - especially when it comes to hours and scheduling (the real downfall to a clergy couple with young children in my experience). I am just wondering. Those of you who know me in real life - any thoughts?
I should add that I know unofficially that there is a pastor who will probably take the transitional position and be very good at it. Don't want to say more, as I'm not supposed to really know - but I feel no need to apply for the transitional piece. But in 16 months C. will be 2 - the earliest I really thought I would work again - I am wondering.
Hope this makes some sense to someone - it is late and C. is cutting her upper two middle teeth - which means little sleep for mom this week.

Fun with Cheerios

So C. ate Cheerios for the first time last Saturday. "Ate" is a generous word here - Micah, our dog, was quite happy though. She was so funny with them that I had to document it with photos....so here they are - cheap thrills from a mom's life.....Aren't those chubby cheeks great? And her hair shifts from blonde to light brown to almost red depending on the light - I am interested to see how it changes (or doesn't) as she grows. It also appears she is left handed. Of course, we thought M. was left handed for a long time to, but she is most definitely not, so we will see.

And in keeping with the random part of my job description, I have a question for you all: Why is it that when a pastor is an incompetent idiot and runs a church into the ground and they can't make the budget, the associate is the one who is forced to leave? No more details yet, as it's not officially out in the open - just makes me mad as hell.

Purple Shirted Sleepyheads

Today was a pajama day - we were late to bed last night after a visit to the State Fair. Which seemed very small to W. and I compared to the states we grew up in (Indiana and North Carolina). But M. had a blast. She got to pet goats and sheep, see cows, ride a pony, work on a farm (a really neat exhibit to explain to kids where their food comes from) and ride a helicopter ride on the midway. And eat almost all of a foot-long hot dog for dinner and dippin dots ice cream for dessert. Living the high life of a 3 year old, I tell you. But this made us all quite sleepy today - hence the pajama day and 3 girls snuggle nap this afternoon. W. got a picture of her on the pony that I will try to get and post later....C. spent half the time asleep in my wrap - but that's the high life of an 8 month old, I guess.
Happy Thursday!

Children's books

One of the really fun parts of being a mom for me is getting to read children's books on a daily basis. There are some I could repeat for you word for word now, having read them so many times, but M. also enjoys getting new ones from the library, where we go often. She picked out one today that I had never seen before called Whaddaymean. It's a great book about kids who walk around the world with God, who is disappointed in what has happened to the creation (pollution, wars, poverty, etc.) and tells the kids they must go and tell the grown-ups to change. I'm not sure M. got the whole depth of the message (she is only 3 after all - a very smart 3, but 3 none the less) but she enjoyed it and we'll read it several more times before we have to return it.
Another great book that she (M.) pulled off her shelf before bedtime last night is one called The Other Dog. It is one by Madeleine L'Engle that I had never heard of before someone gave it to M. as a big sister gift after C. was born. This is the story of L'Engle's first child entering the family told from the point of view of her dog. It is really cute and a great one for big siblings about the funny things babies do. And also great for expectant parents with a pampered pet at home - I seriously think Micah thought much of this book about M. when she was tiny.
There are other children's books that I really like - I'll try to remember to list more in the future.

C's appointment - quick update

Her eyes are fine. I mentioned in an earlier post that she sometimes appears cross-eyed and I was taking her to see a pediatric ophthalmologist today. The appointment went fine, and her eyes are perfectly straight. The Dr. said it is an optical illusion because the bridge of her nose is so wide and flat. So, that is good news. She is now home and happily crawling around the kitchen looking for things to get into. I should go supervise.....

vent

I really should be in listening to W's sermon right now, but C. is fussy and gets really upset if I leave her in the nursery for very long, so I'm in W's office typing this. I am so mad I could spit, to borrow a phrase from my grandmother. Today is the first day of fall Sunday School. I dropped M. off in her class and told her and her teacher I would be back to pick her up for worship. I had some things to do here during Sunday School (I know I should be going to Sunday School myself, that's coming later...) I was talking with our nursery person when I realized, oops! Sunday School was over 2 minutes ago. I say goodbye and walk down to M's Sunday School room. No one is there. The lights are off and the door is shut. I look around. No M. I ask some of the other adults who are standing around talking. No one has seen M. I and about 5 other people (including W. who is in his robe ready to start church in 10 minutes) are looking frantically around the building for her. Where is she? I should state that M. has never run off - she normally sticks to one of us or the adult we leave her with like glue. She does not just disappear. Finally I find one of her Sunday School teachers who says, "Oh, have you seen N. (another teacher)? She was going to take M. into church and find you." Sure enough, I go into the sanctuary for the 2nd time looking and there is M., sitting next to N. and her daughter, looking very quiet. I told N. in no uncertain terms that I needed one of the teachers to wait in the Sunday School room for me to come pick up M. each week and that I had been frantic trying to figure out where she had gone. She apologized and said, "but she was right here with me. J. (the teacher I finally found who said M. was with N.) was supposed to tell you." I am so mad. I was practically shaking to keep from shouting at these women, who are now acting like "we were just trying to help." It makes me even more frustrated because I have spent the last year evidently talking to a wall when I have said over and over again that parents need to pick their children up after Sunday School and Children's Church, that it is not safe for the kids to just leave and find mom and dad somewhere, that it is far too easy if we just let them out at the end of class for someone to get lost. And today, all my dire warnings that these women have brushed off for the last year came true - and it was my kid who was lost. And scared, although they don't know her well enough to see it. I was able to talk to M. for a minute before church started to say that I was sorry I wasn't there to get her and sorry if she was scared and to tell her I'm not mad at her (she's 3 years old and was doing what someone in authority told her to - it's not her fault. The adults are the ones who messed up big time.) She looked relieved and gave me a hug, but it still makes me so mad. And I feel bad, because I know that we have spent years, literally, working on getting her to separate from me easily and be confident that I will be back as I told her I would. This is an on-going issue for M. - the fear of mom not coming back - and I am afraid we've been set back months now. GGGGGRRRRRRR!
Okay, I feel better now that is off my chest. Should head back to church......

Welcome to Utah....

This goes with a groan. The "lost boys" are not new news here in Utah, but they probably are in the rest of the world. They are from a fundamentalist polygamous sect in southern Utah/northern Arizona whose "prophet" is currently on trial on charges of being an accomplice to rape for marrying underage girls (some as young as 13-14 years old) to older men. This article in the New York Times tells some of the background on the FLDS. It is a scary world we live in.
I should add that this article correctly states that the Mormon church of Romney that you all have heard so much about has abandoned polygamy. This is only true in this life. They still believe and teach that faithful men will have multiple wives in heaven and get to become gods of their own worlds. They also believe that Adam is God. I kid you not.

Fall...and football is in the air

C. and I just got home from the Utah football game. We left 1/2 way through the 2nd quarter, after I spent most of the 1st quarter walking her up and down the concourse. C. is a bit too young for D-1 football, me thinks. W. and M. are still there - the game is now in the 4th quarter. They are going to ride Trax (the train) to the station closest to our house and then we will go pick them up. It is so nice to live someplace where public transportation not only exists, but is a practical means of transportation.
I have to say that today's game was a bit overwhelming for me, too. When I was in college, I remember going to the football games to watch the band perform (they wore real kilts and had bagpipes and were pretty cool, I think) but the game itself wasn't much to watch. And the stadium was small - not much bigger than my high school stadium - and there were concession stands, but not many. Utah plays football in Rice-Eccols Stadium, which is where the opening and closing ceremonies for the Olympics were held. It's pretty big. And loud. And lots of concession stands and people and sensory overload. M. was having a blast and I'm glad for that - but I was kind of glad to come home. Utah is also trying pretty hard to lose to Air Force, so it's not like I'm missing a great game. It's also not like I'm a huge football fan - we went to today's game because a family from the church has season tickets and were out of town today and gave us their seats.
C. is happy now. She woke up from both her naps (morning and afternoon) early today - this does not make for a happy baby or a happy mommy. And then fell asleep before I left the stadium with her when I was coming home. Woke up when I put her in the car and talked really loudly until we got on the interstate - about 10 minutes or so. She had a lot to get out about what she had seen and heard, I guess. And then fell asleep and slept the rest of the way home. And has now eaten and is playing. And just thought really hard about trying to climb a bookcase (I am not kidding here - trust me) and is now happily chewing on a board book. She is developing quite the mischievous personality....
Not much else to post I don't think. I'm going to go try to finish M.'s Elmo pajamas now - I'm almost done. Then I get to move on to pants - which I think will go quicker.

More pictures of M. and C.

M. is "helping" me put together a casserole. C. is practicing two of her favorite tricks - pulling up and grinning. Micah, the dog, is helping me clean the floor. See all the help I get every day? :) Oh, I should mention that M. is still wearing her leotard from her dance class. She is taking a creative dance class every Tuesday morning and loves it so much that she refuses to take off her leotard for the rest of the day. And no, she is not stubborn like her parents, why would you ask?

Forgot to save the red-eye correction on this one, I guess. Aren't they cute, though?
And baths are such fun. Lots to smile about. Except when Mom tries to rinse my hair and I look down and get water in my eyes. Lots of screaming then - and no pictures. But in general, baths are lots of fun.
And finally, the reason for my long post in the middle of the day. M.'s first day of pre-school for the year was today. M. loves, loves, loves school. She thinks that getting to go 3 days a week this year is perhaps the greatest thing since, oh, chocolate zucchini cake. She comes home exhausted. She naps. Mom gets alone time in the middle of the day without a fight. Mom loves pre-school, too....

Oh, one last thing. I am taking C. to see a pediatric ophthalmologist this Monday. She sometimes still looks cross-eyed and the pediatrician wanted us to have her tested and such to make sure that she is seeing fine out of both eyes. I think she's okay, but I'm a little nervous about the appointment (we got the pre-registration paperwork in the mail and they said to "expect a 1-3 hour appointment" - not my idea of fun with an active almost 8 month old, regardless of what they find.) I'll let you know what we find out next week.

Storm in the Mountains

So, contrary to what many who live here may think - because the valley is very well irrigated - we live in a desert. High humidity here is anything over, say, 15 percent. And it doesn't rain very often - like this summer we have had 4-5 weeks between rains sometimes. But it stormed last night. Lightening and thunder and all that jazz - almost as good as a midwestern summer thunderstorm. Not quite, but almost. I tried to take some pictures, because the clouds were so gorgeous, but none of them really turned out well. You can see bits of the mountains in the pictures, though. These were all taken in front of our house.I love being able to look out over the valley and see how the weather is coming and what is coming next.

This last one was taken by my almost 4 year old M. Not really of the storm, but she wanted me to put it up.....and I've found that peace and sanity in motherhood comes from arguing as little as possible about the things that don't really matter.....

Big Sister Brag Moment

Just had to post that my brother e-mailed to say he passed his oral exams for his PhD. Not that I thought he was in danger of not passing (he's brilliant like me, right? :) ) But I wanted to post and say I am so proud of him. For those who don't know, he is doing a PhD in Zoology at NC State - he is studying salamanders and population mapping and more that I don't understand.

High Altitude Baking

Okay, so we live at about 4,500 feet above sea level. Not too high - but high enough that it takes longer to cook things like rice and pasta (water boils at a lower temperature here, so when you boil food you aren't cooking it at as high a temperature as you would if you boiled it at sea level so it takes longer to cook) and you have to adjust baking recipes. Generally I have found that lessening the sugar slightly, cutting down on leavening by about 1/4, increasing liquids by about a tablespoon per cup, and watching closely as you bake to prevent over or under baking works. My first batch of chocolate chip cookies here were a disaster - they tasted fine but crumbled like heck and looked terrible. My first pie crust was also pretty bad - it need a lot more moisture than I put in. (I doubled the amount of water in the recipe the next time and it turned out fine.) But I have one recipe that I have always been able to pull off fine here - Chocolate Zucchini Cake. It is a recipe from one of my members in my last church who had a huge organic garden in their back yard. And it is a moist, delicious, not-too-sweet chocolate cake. So, we are having the PNC and their families over for dinner Monday (Our second annual Labor Day BBQ dinner - BBQ as in W. is smoking 16 lbs of pork shoulders today to pull by hand and put on sandwiches. That is also really yummy, but another post). Everyone else is bringing the side dishes and such, but several people requested that I make another Chocolate Zucchini Cake like I did last year. (Lots of people are almost afraid to bake at this altitude because you have to change recipes and it takes some time and experimentation.) So, this morning M. and I made a Chocolate Zucchini Cake. It is a 2 layer cake and looked great going into the oven. Looked beautiful coming out of the oven - baked until just set but not dry. Then I (tried) to take them out of the pan. They look like this now:(Okay, I had actually eaten some of the crumbs before I took this picture, but you get the idea) I. am. so. mad. I forgot to grease or line the pans. They are non-stick, but for some reason of chemistry that I don't completely understand or want to explain, baked goods are more likely to stick at high altitudes. So you are supposed to always grease your pans. I know this -grrr. So, so it is time to go off to the grocery store and buy more buttermilk so we can make another one tomorrow. These are just too broken down the middle of each one to try to hide it with icing. This is why I decide to make it today, I guess. It does taste wonderful.........