Sick kiddo

M. is sick, poor thing. She was very tired and listless at presbytery (and yes, she would rather go with us to presbytery and play in the nursery at the church than stay home with someone else....she's a weird one, my kid.) and so we left early. Then she threw up in the car. I felt so bad for her - it was cold out and we stopped to change her and clean up her carseat as best we could (thank God for washable carseat covers, by the way. Hers is in the dryer right now) and she got so cold from the wind going in and out....Having a sick kid just breaks my heart. She slept most of the rest of the way home (it was almost a 3 hour drive and she threw up about an hour into it) and then seemed much perkier and more like her usual, talkative, ornery self. But then after her bath tonight, as I was helping her into her pajamas, her stomach hurt again and she started crying because she didn't want to throw up again. Which she didn't, thank goodness, but I still feel so bad for her. I'm hoping it's just exhaustion or a 24 hour bug.....and that C. doesn't get it. (which would be a small miracle, but I can dream, right?)
Of course, this would have to happen on the first Saturday in 6 weeks or so that I am preaching the next day. So, we have called in reinforcements in the form of one of the girls "adopted grandparents" to sit with her while Mommy and Daddy both preach in the morning. I should mention that M. has a wonderful track record for getting sick on Saturdays - (or during or right before Holy Week) - this is seriously one reason I wanted us to move to only one of us being in parish ministry at this time - having to get someone else to stay with a sick kid so you can work is just not fun.
I also wanted to thank everyone who commented about C's fall. She has had just the faintest bruise on her forehead this week - most people don't see it unless I point it out. I think it is just her personality - she is ready to just go, go, go - and has been forever. She was much more active in utero than M. - and I remember clearly setting her up on her boppy when she was all of a month old, so she could watch us move around the room, and she would strain her stomach muscles trying to sit up. She just wants to go and do and be active - and she will probably have a few good bumps along the way. But, this is who she is. I want to keep her safe, don't get me wrong, but I also don't want to stop her from exploring, from being who she is. M. was and is much more contemplative - she wants to consider and understand before she does something, especially anything physical. Not C. - this one will try and fall and try and bump and try again. I think she will turn out more like W. - very athletic and such - not like her mom. So, it's tightrope walking of a sort - keep her safe but let her go explore - and not feel too guilty about the bumps and bruises that come. She will learn (eventually!). Parenting really does teach you so much - about yourself, about your partner, about your family - it's quite a ride.
Well, I must go look over my sermon for tomorrow. I would post it, but haven't written a manuscript for this one and my notes probably don't make much sense to anyone but me. So, until next time...

The white stuff is here.....

The second picture you can see it better. This is the grass in our backyard today. After we got home from a judicatory meeting in Preston, Idaho. It is still September, right? And we have snow. Not much, admittedly. We had 8 inches at a shot several times last winter, but.....snow....in September......

I have more to post in response to my last post and your comments, but C. is about to pull her sister's dinner onto the floor, so I must go...

Bumps, brusies, rattles and rolls

C. fell in church this morning and hit her head on the corner of a pew. Nice dark bruise right down the center of her forehead - right between the eyes, poor thing. She has 4 teeth now - still coming in some but visible - and now this. She will live, and so will I, I think.....The whole thing got me thinking about parenting. C. would not have fallen and hurt herself if I had been holding her - but she was in an active mood and wanted to get down and move some. So I let her. I don't let her crawl all over the sanctuary, but I think it's okay for her to get down on the floor and move around a bit. So we were singing a hymn and she crawled over and pulled up on the end of the pew where I was sitting. I looked at her and smiled, she smiled at me and turned to go back to crawling around - and didn't take into account the pew in front of us, which she went straight into when she went to start crawling. I'm trying not to feel too guilty - it's that dance though. That back and forth between not holding your kid back, not clinging, and at the same time keeping enough boundaries, enough limits to keep them safe. C. has been through such a separation anxiety phase recently that I am even happier to see her crawling around and happy - she feels comfortable at church to the point she can leave me and come right back and be fine. This is good - I don't want to discourage it. But, when you let your kid crawl (or walk or drive) away, you risk them getting hurt - and as a mom, there's nothing worse than a hurt kid (okay, maybe a sick kid who just puked on you, but that's another post...) I think I am making this into a bigger deal than it needs to be, so I will move on now....Parenting - with awareness anyway - is harder than it looks....
It has been raining a lot this weekend. Real rain - not Utah rain (where it spits for 3 minutes and is gone). It's raining now. It rained almost all day yesterday. Living in the desert, we don't get much rain, and I miss it.
I got to celebrate communion at the presbytery-wide PW fall gathering yesterday. It's the first time I remember celebrating communion in a group of all women. I have many experiences of worshipping in a community of women - but I am not remembering any since ordination that I celebrated communion for. It is a powerful experience - one I am grateful for. I felt the service I put together was a bit disjointed, but all the women who talked to me after the service said how wonderful it was, so I am taking that affirmation and moving forward.
And it's now almost 11:15 and I need to go start laundry....so I will close for now.

Early Discernment

So, in the last few weeks the head of the judicatory here has resigned to go elsewhere. So there is a meeting next Saturday where we will be asked to approve a job description for a "transitional presbyter" - this is not the hard part for me. The job description is actually very well written, clear, and I think helpful in moving us forward as a gathering of churches - the biggest assignment being to meet with all pastors and church governing boards to gather information and cast a vision for future structure and mission in our judicatory. This position is clearly defined as having a 12 month term.
So - where the discernment? No where yet, really. But I am wondering about the permanent position that will follow this transitional one. When we came here, it was with the knowledge that I might not work for some time - not in the regular called sense of it anyway. I prepared myself to be a mom, to preach on occasion, and I am happy with that. For now. But, now I am starting to wonder - am I called to leadership outside the congregational level? Could I be an executive and be content? Is this what God has planned for me to do? In many ways it would make sense - especially when it comes to hours and scheduling (the real downfall to a clergy couple with young children in my experience). I am just wondering. Those of you who know me in real life - any thoughts?
I should add that I know unofficially that there is a pastor who will probably take the transitional position and be very good at it. Don't want to say more, as I'm not supposed to really know - but I feel no need to apply for the transitional piece. But in 16 months C. will be 2 - the earliest I really thought I would work again - I am wondering.
Hope this makes some sense to someone - it is late and C. is cutting her upper two middle teeth - which means little sleep for mom this week.

Fun with Cheerios

So C. ate Cheerios for the first time last Saturday. "Ate" is a generous word here - Micah, our dog, was quite happy though. She was so funny with them that I had to document it with photos....so here they are - cheap thrills from a mom's life.....Aren't those chubby cheeks great? And her hair shifts from blonde to light brown to almost red depending on the light - I am interested to see how it changes (or doesn't) as she grows. It also appears she is left handed. Of course, we thought M. was left handed for a long time to, but she is most definitely not, so we will see.

And in keeping with the random part of my job description, I have a question for you all: Why is it that when a pastor is an incompetent idiot and runs a church into the ground and they can't make the budget, the associate is the one who is forced to leave? No more details yet, as it's not officially out in the open - just makes me mad as hell.

Purple Shirted Sleepyheads

Today was a pajama day - we were late to bed last night after a visit to the State Fair. Which seemed very small to W. and I compared to the states we grew up in (Indiana and North Carolina). But M. had a blast. She got to pet goats and sheep, see cows, ride a pony, work on a farm (a really neat exhibit to explain to kids where their food comes from) and ride a helicopter ride on the midway. And eat almost all of a foot-long hot dog for dinner and dippin dots ice cream for dessert. Living the high life of a 3 year old, I tell you. But this made us all quite sleepy today - hence the pajama day and 3 girls snuggle nap this afternoon. W. got a picture of her on the pony that I will try to get and post later....C. spent half the time asleep in my wrap - but that's the high life of an 8 month old, I guess.
Happy Thursday!

Children's books

One of the really fun parts of being a mom for me is getting to read children's books on a daily basis. There are some I could repeat for you word for word now, having read them so many times, but M. also enjoys getting new ones from the library, where we go often. She picked out one today that I had never seen before called Whaddaymean. It's a great book about kids who walk around the world with God, who is disappointed in what has happened to the creation (pollution, wars, poverty, etc.) and tells the kids they must go and tell the grown-ups to change. I'm not sure M. got the whole depth of the message (she is only 3 after all - a very smart 3, but 3 none the less) but she enjoyed it and we'll read it several more times before we have to return it.
Another great book that she (M.) pulled off her shelf before bedtime last night is one called The Other Dog. It is one by Madeleine L'Engle that I had never heard of before someone gave it to M. as a big sister gift after C. was born. This is the story of L'Engle's first child entering the family told from the point of view of her dog. It is really cute and a great one for big siblings about the funny things babies do. And also great for expectant parents with a pampered pet at home - I seriously think Micah thought much of this book about M. when she was tiny.
There are other children's books that I really like - I'll try to remember to list more in the future.